As a major part of my own continuous growth core value, I spend a lot of time studying and learning from other leaders. At Atlas, with all of the people I have seen come and go, and with speaking to other fellow leaders, one of the most prominent traits amongst the toxic ones was the “I deserve” mindset. This is BY FAR a leader’s most dangerous thought!
To some degree it’s natural to have entitlement feelings as a leader. Leadership is very demanding. It takes a personal toll on us, and if we’re not careful, we can make it ALL about us. It’s not a difficult position to rationalize. But once a leader has developed an entitlement pattern of thinking, the team is in great danger!
The greatest problem with “I deserve” is how it changes our perspective. We begin to see our contribution as more important than anyone else’s around us. This creates a “one-way street” mind-set, which leads to a wrong motivation for leadership.
Leadership is not about getting what you want. Leadership is about serving the people around you for the benefit of the team. “I deserve” thinking threatens our ability to lead because it takes us out of our community. It separates us from the real nature of leadership: serving others and helping them grow to the best version of themselves.
Trying to make life all about you pushes happiness for everyone else further out of reach. If a leader thinks, “it’s all about me,” then his or her team will think it’s all about them. The result? No hope for getting along, and certainly no hope for achieving what’s best for the team.
So how do you counteract the “I deserve” mentality? My answer is pretty simple—probably simpler than you would hope for. Just value others! Do it everyday. Do it intentionally. And do it consistently. Valuing others helps minimize the entitlement mindset of “I deserve.” It redirects your focus and energy onto your Team rather than yourself.
Remember: leadership is not a position, but a role. And it is all about channeling all that you are for the benefit of others. You are in your position because your people choose to have you there. Not because of what the organizational chart states as far as your position goes. Even if you are an owner or senior leader – Your people choose to let you lead them. And if they feel one ounce of self fulfilling motive behind what you are trying to accomplish everyday in your organization, the first opportunity they have to go elsewhere, they will be gone. If you have an entitled employee on your team, which typically derives from at some point being led by an entitled leader, their motives will never be to serve the mission of the organization for anything other than self gain. You don’t want that cancer hanging around for too long or it’ll spread like wildfire!
Takeaway — Take a minute to examine your own leadership. Do you have any “I deserve” assumptions? If there are areas in your leadership where you struggle with entitlement, begin counteracting this by developing the habit of valuing others all around you. It’s amazing how things will change when you put the good of your Team above your own agenda!