“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” — Warren Buffet
There is this myth that leaders hear a lot that says “leading is doing”. While this is true in some sense, saying YES to everything is always easier than saying NO to things that will not help take you to the next level in your continuous growth path. This is always true early on in your leadership. Saying no can be difficult but most of us have also found ourselves in situations where we said yes reluctantly, and later on we regretted our decision. Some people will be pushy so you need to learn to be firm but polite in your decisions!
Your time is a limited commodity, and is the most precious. This means that every time you make a commitment, it will leave less time for other activities. The reality of leadership is that the more successful we are, the less accessible we become. As things grow and as more people become involved, a leader can’t be equally accessible to all people. So you become faced with the dilemma of who gets your time and who doesn’t, when do they get it, and how much of it do they get. Requests for your time are in a sense an affirmation that you are successful in your work. While this can be very flattering, you can also easily burn out from becoming over-committed. Learning to say no to more requests can be one of the biggest favors you can do yourself and those you love. It helps reduce stress levels and gives you time for what’s really important.
There was a phase where I would go out to lunch multiple times per week and rarely had to pay for it. (My stomach line paid for it though). Little did I realize at first, the time I’d spend in these “free” lunches was far from not coming at a cost.
Knowing when to say yes and when to say no can go a long way toward protecting the long-term well-being of the team. Leaders are often afraid of saying no. They are afraid it will hurt their image or reputation. They are afraid they won’t be seen as a team player. As leaders, we need to learn how to balance the workload. Not just for ourselves, but for our team!
Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you are saying no to something that is important. “Yes men” and “yes women” never get to a level of significance in their leadership. There is a huge value in getting good at saying no. What I mean is this… Say no sometimes to the toxic person who wants to meet over coffee to gossip. Say no to the co-worker who wants to spread his negativity and critiquing about other employees. Say no to that friend / relative who laughs at your dreams and makes you doubt in yourself. Say no to the social obligations that drain time from your life’s work and don’t add any value back. Saying no to the employee that constantly robs you of your time and focus, but yet is not growing in his/her leadership as a result of your efforts to raise them up.
Remember this – You can’t be all things to all people. The best of the best leaders I know get that. Know your priorities. Know your goals. Know what needs to get done over the coming days, weeks, months and years. And then say NO to everything else that is not going to help take you to the next level. Saying no to things doesn’t make you lazy. It just means that you are making sure you have the proper time to say yes to the things that you want to excel at. And that you have the proper time in your schedule to lead those that are looking to you to take them to the next level. Sure, some people around you might not be happy and think you’re blowing them off… But would you rather live your life according to the approval of others or live a life that is aligned with your dreams? You decide!