Leadership isn’t for the faint of heart. If you’re in any sort of leadership role long enough, you’ll face hard decisions, tough conversations, and moments where avoiding conflict might seem like the easier path. But here’s the truth: dodging conflict doesn’t make problems disappear – it allows them to grow into something much worse!
If your vehicle is making an odd noise, and one day the noise all of a sudden stops, there is a pretty good chance it didn’t just fix itself. It just quieted itself down until another time when it reappeared!
Dan Martell once said, “What you tolerate, you encourage.” If you ignore underperformance, toxicity, or misalignment in your team, you’re not keeping the peace – you’re building a culture that normalizes dysfunction. The best leaders don’t avoid the hard stuff; they lean into it with clarity, courage, and conviction.
I’ve had to make my share of tough moves. Some of the hardest of them involved letting team members go that I didn’t want to. In one case, I had a key leader who despite multiple conversations, coaching, and numerous chances, he simply wasn’t aligning with the culture and expectations of our company. They were great in some ways, but their attitude and unwillingness to take ownership were dragging down the team. And everybody was looking at me with a “what are you going to do about this, Sam?”
It would’ve been easy to keep them on, to justify their place because of some of their skills, or to tell myself, “Maybe they’ll get better over time.” But deep down, I knew that by avoiding the hard conversation, I was putting way more at risk with our Team!
So, I made the call. We had the discussion. And yes, it was tough. But guess what? Our team became stronger because of it. Leadership isn’t about making everyone happy – it’s about doing what’s right for the long-term success of your organization and your people.
John Maxwell puts it this way: “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” That means stepping up and handling the uncomfortable realities of leadership – not shying away from them.
I’ve seen the dangers of putting off doing hard things firsthand: leaders who refuse to address issues head-on because they don’t want to be “the bad guy.” They avoid the tough conversations. They let poor behavior slide. They hope things will magically fix themselves. And when left unchecked for too long, it’s 10x harder to rebuild from the carnage created.
Here’s what actually happens when leaders avoid conflict… Toxicity spreads. When one person underperforms or undermines the culture without consequence, others take notice. Resentment builds, and your high performers start to disengage.
Trust erodes. Your team sees that you’re unwilling to make the tough calls, and they start to question whether you really have their best interests in mind. The business or organization suffers. Bad habits, inefficiencies, and dysfunction grow unchecked, dragging down productivity and profitability.
John Wooden famously said, “A leader’s most powerful ally is his or her own example.” If you want a culture of accountability, ownership, and high standards, you have to model it – especially when it’s uncomfortable. I’ll say that last part again. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S UNCOMFORTABLE!
As leaders, it’s our job to do the jobs nobody else wants to do. At the end of the day, leadership isn’t about perks, titles, or simply feeling important. It’s about responsibility. It’s about showing up every day, doing the hard work, and making decisions that others won’t. And sometimes, that means being the one who has to have the tough conversations, deliver the hard news, or make the call nobody else wants to make.
But here’s the key: we have to do it with a smile on our faces. Not because we enjoy it, but because we recognize that doing the hard things with the right attitude sets the tone for our entire organization. So if you’ve been avoiding a difficult conversation, delaying a necessary change, or tolerating something you know isn’t right – it’s time to step up. Face it head-on. Lead with integrity. Do what needs to be done.
Because at the end of the day, avoiding conflict isn’t kindness – it’s “leadership malpractice”.