“A leader who doesn’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.”
There’s a phrase that has the power to change everything in leadership, relationships, and personal growth. It’s actually pretty simple. But when it lands, it can shake your core up a bit.
“I never thought of it that way.”
I’ll be the first to admit – sometimes as leaders, we can get leadership tunnel vision. We live in execution mode. We solve problems. We put out fires. We drive performance. We work hard to make things happen. We’re so used to calling the shots that we start to assume our perspective is the correct one – sometimes even the only one that matters.
But leadership isn’t about always being right. It’s about always being open. I learned a lesson here the hard way.
One day, a team member made a statement to me that immediately rubbed me the wrong way. I won’t sugarcoat it – I got fired up. I snapped back with some choice words and let my emotions steer the moment. At the time, I felt justified. Even a bit disrespected. But later, something in me couldn’t let it go. I sat with it for a while. And the more I reflected, the more I felt I owed this person an apology. Not because what they said was spot on – but because how I responded wasn’t.
“Just because you’re leading doesn’t mean you’re right.”
I reached out to a mentor of mine – someone I trust to speak hard truths. I told him the story, ready to defend my reaction. Instead, he hit me with something that completely reframed everything: “Had the person been a different person… would the comment have set you off as badly?”
That response stopped me in my tracks. I hadn’t considered that maybe, just maybe, I was reacting more to who said it than what was said. I hadn’t thought of it that way. And that was the lesson.
Tunnel vision is real. As leaders, we’re often so locked in on our perspective, our pressures, our expectations, that we fail to pause and see the bigger picture. We judge motives. We assign tones. We react based on our filter, not theirs. And that’s where we miss opportunities to grow, connect, and lead more powerfully.
That one conversation led to a mindset shift for me. I started to ask myself in difficult situations:
1) What am I not seeing?
2) What if they’re not wrong – just viewing it from a different lens?
3) Am I reacting to truth or to ego?
4) Do I have people in my life who challenge the way I think?
This is why having a coach, a mentor, and a wisdom table (personal advisory board) around you is so important. Not people who agree with you – but people who refine you. Who challenge your defaults. Who lovingly will call you out when your leadership gets clouded by pride, fatigue, or emotion!
- They help you zoom out.
- They help you grow up.
- They help you lead up.
The truth is, we’re all capable of being better leaders tomorrow than we are today. But that starts with being willing to say:
“I never thought of it that way.”
Let that phrase become your superpower. Because the moment you become open to a new perspective… is the moment your leadership becomes unstoppable.
Because the leader who is willing to see things differently – will always lead differently!
“If you want to change the way you live, change the way you think.”